Death as they say has always been a part of life. Everything that has a beginning has definitely an end - such is the cycle of life. Most people like me have fear of death and I guess it's normal for anyone, because it's something unknown, even if we have experienced a relative dying and see it countless times on TV and in the movies.
Not a lot of bloggers would usually write about a topic related to death, because of its morbidity or because it is so much of a heavy topic that people would rather think of happy thoughts and dismiss this reality, amidst the inevitability of it.
I didn't choose this topic to impress nor to be melodramatic or preachy, but it's because of the freedom that I'm experiencing due to a deep understanding and acceptance of this unavoidable fact. Death was my greatest fear and when my dad died, the fear heightened.
It's only after several years after his death and self-realization that if you accept it as reality and it can happen anytime, anywhere, it isn't as bad or morbid as most people think. It also makes you realize the most salient and important things in life:
- happiness cannot be totally found in this world and it's merely an illusion - true happiness exists in the afterlife. We do, however, experience a certain sense of it in certain circumstances, but it's temporary.
- it's not so difficult to "detach" from the things of this world, because they are merely representations of how progressive your life is, but not a source of permanent happiness.
- giving and helping people becomes more relevant than receiving and accepting. Regardless of how small, in whatever form or even if your generosity is appreciated or not, it's the thought that you have done something purposeful.
- Being overly-critical and overreactions to criticisms are now considered trivial. Problems, issues, altercations, emotional upheavals and past hurts are just simply transitory. There is greater control of the negative human tendencies.
- What was once trivial has become significant and what was once important, has become trivial. The smaller but more salient details in life like having discernment, doing what you love the most, having good health, sincerely being appreciated for a job well-done and being loved, becomes more important than petty complaints of hardships or denied requests, unfulfilled intentions or constant disappointments.
- Whatever you have achieved or didn't, qualifications, trainings, status in life or material possessions, all these won't matter when it is time to go.
- Life becomes simpler and "streamlined", knowing that complications are no longer important - being numb to criticisms has its perks.
- Knowing that our lives here is just a journey and not a destination, makes you yearn and expect for something better - free from ironic rules of men, prejudice and first impressions, social norms or even individual standards that you somehow need to adjust to.
My life now is simpler than it used to be, playing it by ear, taking it as it comes and living every moment as if it's my last. Extreme as it seems, but it gives me freedom from a lot of unnecessary pain or suffering brought about by my choices or the choices of other people that can affect me.
I don't claim to be an expert on this matter nor am I saying that I have had a "near-death experience" to speak this way, but death is definitely not the end and we're all headed in that direction regardless of status, age, achievements, gender, race or personal standards.
It's considered an "equalizer" because death does not favor anyone - something that all of us should realize in this lifetime before we judge, sneer, make fun of someone's misfortune or look down on someone.
Phobias are known as irrational fears, but death is a justified fear because we go through life once and die only once. But if you accept that you're already dead right from the start, everything becomes clear and your life becomes more "aligned" to purposeful ways, constantly striving yourself to be better and hopefully making other people around you better in the process as well.
So, if you worry about what your son or daughter should be when they grow up, what business you should establish, how long you should live, how much money you should make, think this way:
You are aging and therefore "dying" slowly, do what you need to do and what matters most and know that all possessions and intentions are of this world and not relevant when it's time to go. You will experience discernment and enlightenment and it will be the most relevant choice you will ever make in this lifetime.